OK. My life has been turned upside down again, but for once I am going to take responsibility for my actions. I lost my job in August...the one I was constantly complaining about. Sony and I are once again on the outs. And I have moved back in with my mother. This past Sunday was an awful day. I just cried and cried because I asked Sony to help me keep my place and he stated No. Over and over again. I sat there in his house for about 5 hours begging him to help me and he said he couldn't because he doesn't trust me. He said I left him too many times and I told him he never did anything for me therefore he will "own" that position. He told me I was an evil and manipulative person. I was crushed. He told me I used to be this sweet and happy person.
Now once I stopped crying and looked at the situation. I realized Sony was right. I did use to be really happy and had this great outlook on life and love and I want that back. It's not completely his fault. I mean, I have no come to know that he is a low level narcissist and I was just his fix...that's why Sony isn't getting any calls or texts from me. I won't disappear or change my number, I will do the Fade to Black. All these years I have been wanting him to do it...but it's been me who needs to do it. And I am going to conciously make decisions to change my life. I am at the bottom right now...no money, job, or place to live. I can really only go up right now...God Willing.
This will be a blog about moving forward and getting my life back on track. For once and for all. Returning to a time where I was truly happy or at least learning what happiness is.
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